I know this doesn’t bother most people out there but eye contact is a huge thing for me.

For some reason it really gets under my skin if someone at the counter doesn’t give me direct eye contact. I swear some people will look EVERYWHERE ELSE except me! The wall to their left, the counter beneath them, the person walking behind them, etc… It makes me want to move so I’ll be in the direction they’re looking. Now I’m not trying to say that I want everyone’s attention, all the time… It’s just good manners, people!!

And don’t tell me you wouldn’t notice if you were having a conversation with someone and they kept staring at your shoulder. You should try it some time because I guarantee the other person would notice.

Really people, it’s not that hard.

Fifty First Dates. Have you seen that movie? Because I’m pretty sure you were the star in that movie. No, wait, you were the person the movie was based on!

If you’re told that your insurance won’t pay for your prescription until a certain date…your prescription will not be filled any sooner than that date! “Well that’s what I’ve been told every time I’ve come in this past week.” Are you kidding me right now? Is this a joke or were you dropped on the head as a child?

Unless you have dementia I don’t even want to talk to you. 

Now I don’t know what you call it…but I call it the “Gimme” Hand. And I don’t like the Gimme Hand.

Don’t hold out your open hand to me and expect me to give you your change and receipt while you’re busy talking to someone or looking the other way. Don’t act like you’re too good or too busy to give me your attention.

Maybe some people don’t mind, but I think it’s rude. 

If you’re in such a hurry you should’ve saved your shopping trip for when you had more time. And you can most definitely hold your boring conversation with So-and-so until after your transaction is finished. Hmph.

Let’s talk hygiene for a minute.

It’s great that you want to be clean and everything…you want to look your best out in public. I can’t blame you for that. It’s just gross that you’re picking food out of your teeth while I’m talking to you.

Oh - and last week when you were brushing your hair the entire time? You left hair allllllll over my counter…

I really love that you don’t want to look like a slob, but seriously people. There’s a time and place for everything. Get ready for the day in your own home.

Okay. This isn’t necessarily a post about how to be a better customer, but I just want to know if I’m alone on this one:

Am I the only one who thinks people talking on their phone in a public restroom is weird?? I mean it’s just awkward to be sitting on the pot in constipation while the person in the next stall is jabbering on to So-and-so.

Being anywhere in the bathroom applies. Even if the person in question is just standing by the sink or the automatic hand dryers, am I the only one that thinks this is weird?? There is seriously no place people won’t take their phones… 

Okay, maybe I am going out on a limb here, but put yourself at the other end of the line…You’re talking to your BFF and in the middle of your conversation you hear three toilets flush in the background. “Jill, where ARE you?” “Why in a public restroom, of course!”

Sorry. But I will hang up if that happens while I’m talking to you. 

Here’s just a little recap if you didn’t quite understand the previous 10 entries:

1. Sign your name and don’t crap about how bad it looks.

2. DO NOT USE YOUR CELL PHONE.

3. Read the information around you (signs, menus, hours of operation, etc.).

4. Know the difference between small talk and sharing your life story. No body cares.

5. Respect others. You’re no better than anyone else.

6. Don’t mumble.

7. Be specific with your requests.

8. Give other customers some space.

9. Don’t smoke before you know you’re going to be around people. You stink.

10. Be organized. (Credit cards, ID, etc.)

*

PS: I added a few relevant links to some of the older posts. Check ‘em out!

Okay. This one is going to sound more geared for the ladies out there, but I know not all you guys have it together.

Stay organized.

Is it really so hard to keep all your dollar bills in one spot and your coins in another? How about keeping your credit cards in the same place every time you use it instead of dropping them into that black hole of a purse you carry.

(Growing up my mother and I had a running joke that she never carried a purse; she carried a bag. You know, more like luggage than a cute little number you throw over you shoulder? Because she carried so much junk around?) Anyway….

It really would be great if everyone were a bit more organized when they get ready to make a purchase or need to show their driver’s license. It’s really not cute when you have to search every clothes pocket.

*

You just work on getting organized and I’ll save another post for not handing over crumpled up dollar bills that you have to UNFOLD to put in the till. Thanks.

I beg of you … do not (I repeat) DO NOT smoke before entering a public building. Anyone that comes within 10 feet of you will know you’ve been smoking. Anyone you talk to will have trouble breathing due to the thick, smoke-filled air coming off you. Every breath you exhale renders a person unable to speak back because YOU STINK.

There is NO amount of perfume or cologne can disguise the smell. So please, wait until you’ve left the building.