June 2011
1 post
How to be a better customer No. 14
I know this doesn’t bother most people out there but eye contact is a huge thing for me.
For some reason it really gets under my skin if someone at the counter doesn’t give me direct eye contact. I swear some people will look EVERYWHERE ELSE except me! The wall to their left, the counter beneath them, the person walking behind them, etc… It makes me want to move so I’ll be...
February 2011
2 posts
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different...”
– Albert Einstein
How to be a better customer No. 13
Fifty First Dates. Have you seen that movie? Because I’m pretty sure you were the star in that movie. No, wait, you were the person the movie was based on!
If you’re told that your insurance won’t pay for your prescription until a certain date…your prescription will not be filled any sooner than that date! “Well that’s what I’ve been told every time...
April 2010
3 posts
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 12
Now I don’t know what you call it…but I call it the “Gimme” Hand. And I don’t like the Gimme Hand.
Don’t hold out your open hand to me and expect me to give you your change and receipt while you’re busy talking to someone or looking the other way. Don’t act like you’re too good or too busy to give me your attention.
Maybe some people...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 11
Let’s talk hygiene for a minute.
It’s great that you want to be clean and everything…you want to look your best out in public. I can’t blame you for that. It’s just gross that you’re picking food out of your teeth while I’m talking to you.
Oh - and last week when you were brushing your hair the entire time? You left hair allllllll over my counter…
...
March 2010
1 post
Uhh.......?
Okay. This isn’t necessarily a post about how to be a better customer, but I just want to know if I’m alone on this one:
Am I the only one who thinks people talking on their phone in a public restroom is weird?? I mean it’s just awkward to be sitting on the pot in constipation while the person in the next stall is jabbering on to So-and-so.
Being anywhere in the bathroom...
February 2010
3 posts
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 1-10 recap
Here’s just a little recap if you didn’t quite understand the previous 10 entries:
1. Sign your name and don’t crap about how bad it looks.
2. DO NOT USE YOUR CELL PHONE.
3. Read the information around you (signs, menus, hours of operation, etc.).
4. Know the difference between small talk and sharing your life story. No body cares.
5. Respect others. You’re no better...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 10
Okay. This one is going to sound more geared for the ladies out there, but I know not all you guys have it together.
Stay organized.
Is it really so hard to keep all your dollar bills in one spot and your coins in another? How about keeping your credit cards in the same place every time you use it instead of dropping them into that black hole of a purse you carry.
(Growing up my mother and I...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 9
I beg of you … do not (I repeat) DO NOT smoke before entering a public building. Anyone that comes within 10 feet of you will know you’ve been smoking. Anyone you talk to will have trouble breathing due to the thick, smoke-filled air coming off you. Every breath you exhale renders a person unable to speak back because YOU STINK.
There is NO amount of perfume or cologne can disguise...
January 2010
8 posts
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 8
I’d like to focus this post on personal space related to your fellow customers…
…You know how credit card machines have those little wall/ blinder things to make it hard for others to see your pin number? And how you’re always paranoid the person behind you is going to steal your identity?
Take the bank for example. Your account number, pin number, check number, etc.,...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 7
Okay, so after you learn to speak up a little why don’t we work on being specific…
“Yes, I’d like to order some pancakes, please” doesn’t cut it at IHOP. At a place known for pancakes and where there is bound to be a variety of pancakes, you’ve got to be prepared to be specific and decide what KIND of pancake you want. (That is unless you want your server...
1 tag
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 5
Do you see this nice lady? Her job is to help you. Whether you’re picking up your dry cleaning, grabbing a bite to eat or cashing a check, her job is to help YOU.
*
Many of the job scenarios I’ve used as examples aren’t the most prestigious professions, nor has the typical worker chosen such a job as their profession; but you are no better than the teenager who takes your...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 4
There’s a difference between making small talk and sharing your life story.
When the bank teller asks you how you want your $100 bill broken up, there’s no need to explain that your Uncle Ronny was divorced five times, owned five dogs that died of heart worms and is fifty-five thousand dollars in debt and has passed on his superstition against the number five to you…so...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 3
Reading over the previous post I realized that not using your cell phone is just a small part of a much larger problem you need to understand in order to be a better customer. I need you to bear with me as I set this one out…
READ
…As in reading directions (no cell phone sign is a prime example), menus and other pieces of information.
No one puts a IN sticker on a door leading...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 2
What the hell does this sign mean to you??
Oh, really? Because I thought it meant NO CELL PHONES…!
Don’t be the tard that gets offended when you get dirty looks or less than pleasant service while on your cellular at the counter where a NO CELL PHONE sign is staring you in the face. Not to mention that you missed the walls plastered from floor to ceiling with these signs.
You seem...
1 tag
How to be a better customer No. 1
Listen, you’re asked to sign your name on an electronic pad, pay and then leave. That’s it. No one cares if it “doesn’t look like your signature”. Just sign the damned thing and move on, there’s a line behind you! And don’t give me that crap about how it’s “not made for lefties”. News flash: NO ONE READS IT!
And I know you older generations were taught cursive and good penmanship in grade...