Let’s talk hygiene for a minute.

It’s great that you want to be clean and everything…you want to look your best out in public. I can’t blame you for that. It’s just gross that you’re picking food out of your teeth while I’m talking to you.

Oh - and last week when you were brushing your hair the entire time? You left hair allllllll over my counter…

I really love that you don’t want to look like a slob, but seriously people. There’s a time and place for everything. Get ready for the day in your own home.